A Few Excerpts From The Book "No Phone, No Internet And Film In My Camera"


As I stood at the end of the trail gazing at our new lake I thought, “What the hell! That’s no different than the one we just left!” Settle down! It’s bound to get worse – and it did. Outlet Bay opened into Crotch Lake. As juvenile as we still were at 23 years old we refrained from saying out loud the myriad of jokes and double entendres flooding our minds. We even bit our tongues when we realized there was a village at the tip of Crotch Lake called Coxvale! Someone was really on the ball there.

West Virginia was winding roads and rolling hills, in a word, beautiful. John Denver expressed it best when he wrote, “Almost Heaven, West Virginia.” As we headed a little further south then east the snow disappeared, the sun came out and it was nothing short of glorious, especially given the sloppy mess of winter we had left at home just two days ago. It was Christmas Eve when we stopped for the night in Charleston.

The state of Hawaii derives its name from its largest island, Hawaii. A common Hawaiian explanation maintains it was named for Hawai’iloa, a legendary figure from Hawaiian mythology. I always enjoyed the story I heard about how Hawaii was pronounced.

A tourist stops a local on the street in Honolulu and asks, “Could you please tell me, how do you pronounce the name? Is it Hawaii or Havaii?”

“The man politely answers, “It is pronounced Havaii.”

“Thank you very much,” the tourist replies.

The man smiles and says, “You’re velcome.”

To avoid an unwanted scene in the lobby we were hustled into a tiny room with no air conditioning and a double bed. As we tried the door we found it would not open all the way into the room. Okay, this is not acceptable. Karen immediately went down to the front desk to voice our concerns. This was our honeymoon and we had a confirmed reservation – you’ll need to do a lot better and you’ll need to do it NOW! She was told to go back to her room as others who were checking in heard her complaints and started questioning their possible room disasters, a room which we quickly christened our bunker.

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