A
Few Excerpts From The Book "Then There Was One"
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...Now
I’m no psychologist and I’m not exactly
sure what talking in your sleep indicates but
last night I dreamt that I was in a camera store
looking at a light meter. The meter was stuck
and I was slapping it saying, “Get down,
get down!” At this point I awoke. Now I don’t
know what Murray was dreaming but he was saying
aloud, “Bug, you idiot, off my road, you
idiot!” I think we’re both nuts.
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...For
the first time in our lives, we both took a helicopter
ride. It was an amazing feeling being suspended
in mid-air in a huge plastic bubble. I got some
great pictures (I hope) as I sat by the open side,
and believe me I did up the seat belt! The view
we got of the Super Bowl V field all painted and
ready to go is a sight I will never forget. The
ride was extremely bumpy, beyond turbulence, and
noisy as hell but it was well worth it.
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...Houston
is famous for the Astrodome, Dean Martin’s
song and the Manned Spacecraft Center. We were
unbelievably fortunate to be at the Manned Spacecraft
Center today. Even with a half hour delay we felt
pretty special as we sat in the press theatre
to watch the lift off of Apollo XIV. I am in awe
of this whole surreal situation that we find ourselves
in at this moment. I reflect back to just a few
short months ago that I graduated high school
and now I’m sitting in Houston command control
watching a lunar space launch! How do you say
anything but WOW!?
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...Murray
is feeling a lot better so he started to drive
and just before we picked up our film we had another
accident. Ah shit, we just got hit by a street
car! It’s going to be expensive, but you
must admit, it’s different. That’s twice
now that we’ve been creamed when we weren’t
even moving. Tell the truth now; how many people
do you know who have been hit by a trolley in
Mexico City and how many people do you know who’ve
checked into a roadside motel with cameras, suitcases,
money and no car?
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...Working
like a jack rabbit with a lit highway flare up
his bum we took down the tent and packed the campsite
into the car. We had left the dishes in a pan
of water on a picnic table overnight and they
were frozen solid so we broke them out of the
ice and dumped them into the back seat. The snow
was blowing with blizzard force by now and we
had been caught totally off guard so my hands
and feet were frozen. It was getting colder and
crappier by the minute so we took refuge in a
cave.
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...As
we stood there taking a last look at this magnificent
vista in front of us, we turned and looked at
each other and said, “Where the hell is the
car?” You’d think you’d be able
to pick up a bloody red car but all we could see
was cactus and desert and we really didn’t
have the foggiest idea where it was. We walked
in the direction that we agreed it should be and
believe you me, it was disappointing crossing
terrain we had never laid eyes on.
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...After
another disagreement with Eric, probably about
absolutely nothing, I decided to go for a walk
in the desert near our campsite. It was just getting
dark and as I wandered away from the tent I hear
a voice commanding: “Halt, who goes there?
Advance and be recognized”. I remembered
that phrase from dozens of war movies and complied
with the command. To my surprise I ran into two
young U.S. Air Force members. They had a big jug
of some God awful wine and they offered me some.
We sat around and drank. I found out they were
on leave and were to ship out to Vietnam in a
few days. As much as they kidded around I knew
even then that they were worried about what might
happen to them. The Vietnam War was still raging
in 1971. I sometimes wonder what ever happened
to those two scared kids.
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...At
about 5 PM our worlds collided and Murray and
I had a huge fight. He went down to the lake to
brood and I went into Vegas to brood. By the time
I got back, we had both reached a decision. It
seems unavoidable, this has happened before and
it will happen again. Each argument we have just
seems to get bigger and bigger even though we
seem to argue over stupider and stupider things.
We’re both trying to change one another to
adapt to our different personalities and it isn’t
going to work, therefore, tomorrow Murray will
fly to Vancouver and I’ll stay here. I guess
that will shorten my trip significantly.
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Again
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...A
few minutes later the sheriff came by to register
all the campers. He was wearing the cowboy hat,
the bandana, a star, boots and a gun slung low
on his hip and tied around his thigh. I thought
for sure I’d hear the Bonanza theme in the
background and as he was registering me he farted.
No kidding. Now isn’t that wonderful? I thought
it was going to rain. Imagine that! I’m sitting
in my car, minding my own business and the sheriff
comes up to me and farts! Welcome to California.
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Again
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...I
gave up and went in to Circus Circus where I knew
they would be filming again so I watched for a
while. They were shooting in the casino where
the leading bad guy is at a slot machine. He turns
and nods to an unknown accomplice in the casino.
The same scene was filmed again from farther away,
again with the man at the slot machine. Two girls
in the picture are at the roulette wheel where
I was watching the girls play so if they’re
in the shot, then so am I. Of course the whole
scene could end up on the cutting room floor,
as a matter of fact, one of the assistant directors
came up to me and asked me to move over a tiny
bit because I was blocking one of the girls.
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...On
my return trip my brakes fell apart. Hey is anybody
keeping track of how many times this has happened?
I headed toward Brent’s to have them adjusted
and on my way to the station I heard a siren behind
me. I saw a policeman motioning me to the right
so I pulled into the right lane assuming he wanted
to pass. He kept motioning and it was only then
that I realised that he probably wanted to talk
to me about the three orange lights I’d gone
through. I explained that my brakes were bad and
I couldn’t stop (this is going to help) as
a matter of fact I was just on my way to get them
fixed. He was very nice to me and being from out
of state helped I imagine. He let me go with a
warning, “Now be more cautious, and get those
brakes fixed!”
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BACK
TO THE FUTURE
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...In
2009 Murray and I both read the Ewan McGregor/Charley
Boorman books “Long Way Round” and “Long
Way Down”. We found them immensely satisfying
because in a very real sense they are us and we
are them. Our trip is something that Murray and
I will always share and always be thankful for.
It certainly changed us, both good and bad, but
mostly good I think. Our splitting up was destined
to happen and we ultimately grew from it and cemented
a lifelong friendship that started all those years
ago in high school.
...I
often wonder if we did the smartest things by
jumping into cars with absolute strangers to go
to town and visit cities or if it was the wisest
decision to follow people to their homes to make
a phone call. However, no harm came to us and
we simply had faith in our fellow man at the time
as it was a different world then and it never
occurred to us that these choices might be bad.
I’ve never gone camping again to this day
and I still smile when I relive the feeling I
got when we stayed late the next morning in a
motel just to watch that colour TV.
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